Fly
by Cassie Caine
Summary: Response to a fic challenge, I do not know the name of the song. See if you can guess who it is before the end...


//Fly, fly little wing  
Fly beyond imagining//  
  
I watch him, content to stay back. He has done so much for me, so much to help me and guide me.  
I'm not sure sometimes whether he does it on purpose, or if it's just second nature to him.  
I've seen him help so many this way, by just existing near them. It's as if nobility is  
contagious. I'm living proof that he can save anyone just by smiling at them and telling them  
it will be alright. It's not really that simple, of course. It takes a lot of work to help  
someone with no past and no future cherish their present. And look at me now - I have  
everything I've ever wanted, more than I ever imagined I would have. I have soared to new  
heights because of him, and attained the unattainable. What more could I ask for?  
  
Just one thing, really. The only thing I've ever really wanted out of all of this. Yes, he's  
given me a home, and a job, and accomplishments to call my own. But he has never given me  
himself. I don't think he'd ever give himself to anyone, not totally. I understand better than  
most people, and I understand how that nobility can get in the way of other things. Little  
things, like me.  
  
//The softest cloud, the whitest dove  
Upon the wind of heaven's love//  
  
He's still sitting in his garden. He has such a beautiful mansion - but given his position,  
it's actually quite modest. There are flowers everywhere. He's such a romantic. The light  
always manages to glint off his hair in such a way that makes it seem like it's glowing, and  
when he smiles it makes the sun seem dim. Or maybe I'm just crazy. I don't know, sometimes it  
seems like there's another me inside, the one that he wants me to be. Sometimes I feel like  
I'm going to burst, as if there are two of me in the same body with only room for one. But  
then I see him sitting there, tending to birds and flowers and being at peace, and it rubs  
off on me - for the time being.  
  
We're very different, he and I. He has so many friends, so good with groups of people. I tend  
to rub people the wrong way, to come off as cold and distant. He is light, I am dark. He is  
the pure dove, I am the vulture. He is strong, and I am weak. He is heaven, and I am hell.  
  
//Past the planets and the stars  
Leave this lonely world of ours  
Escape the sorrow and the pain  
And fly again//  
  
Sometimes I wish that he wasn't who he is, and I'm not who I am. I wish that we had been born  
into some other universe, where we could be together. I'm fully convinced it's the pressures  
of this world we live in that is keeping us apart - he has said I mean a lot to him, but he  
is not capable of acting on feelings towards anyone, lest he put them in danger. Can't he see  
that he hurts me more by not being with me?  
  
That's not fair of me to say. He would be with me if he could, and I know it is only out of  
concern for my well-being that he insists we do not get attached to each other. I wonder if,  
given different circumstances, we would be together? Likely not, because under different  
circumstances, we would be different people. This war made us who we are today, so I suppose  
I have it to thank as much as him for who I have become. Would he still be that noble, gentle  
soul without going through its trials? Would he still have picked up a street rat like me  
and kept me close? Would I have even been a street rat for him to find? Despite all these  
thoughts, some part of me still believes that we would have found each other. And part of me  
still hopes for the day when all this is over and we can live free.  
  
//Fly, fly precious one  
Your endless journey has begun  
Take your gentle happiness  
Far too beautiful for this//  
  
Well well, so you're off to fight the world, are you? I'll back you all the way. I'll set  
everything up. Just say the word and it's done. Whatever you need, whatever you want, I'll  
provide it for you. And if something goes wrong, I'll take the fall. But I won't need to,  
because your plans are always perfect. Unlike me. I know I'm not the person you want me to  
be; you think I can be better than this. But this is who I am! Go now, do your duty to the  
world. I'll go alongside you, the dark spot that makes the light look ever brighter.  
  
You'll be fighting for a long time, I can tell. This is not an easily won battle - you will  
be fighting all of Romafeller, after all. Who knows what they'll do to you. It's like  
walking into a den of lions covered in blood. You are covered in blood, I know. You've killed  
too many people, directly and indirectly. Somehow, this blood seems like it does not belong  
on you. I know you are a ruthless soldier, but it does not become you to be stained like this.  
Your beauty should never be covered up, especially not in something as filthy as the blood  
of other people. But you'd never say that. You'd say, "It does not matter whose blood is on  
my hands so long as they did not die in vain." I suppose you're right. And I don't believe  
any of those soldiers has died in vain, because the their deaths in this war has taught so  
many more people the value of life. It's a pity not all the world understands this yet.  
  
//Cross over to the other shore  
There is peace forevermore  
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet  
Until we meet//  
  
Well your first goal has been accomplished, and Romafeller can't touch you. I behaved poorly,  
and I'm dearly sorry for that. But you taught me again, taught me how I should be. I'm sorry  
again, because I really can't be that person. I can't I can't I can't I can't... I can. I am.  
I am the person you want me to be, and I will help bring peace to the colonies. I will do it.  
I will I will I will... I won't. I will. Won't. Will. Won't. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes no yes no  
yes no yesnoyesnoyesno... Oh lord, if I can't have peace in my own mind how am I supposed  
to help bring peace to everyone else? One part of me wants to fight for it, like you, but part  
of me knows that it's this fighting that left me a street rat.  
  
Still, I will remember all you have taught me. I hope you remember all the time we've spent  
together. I know you have a job for me, out in space, so I won't be seeing you for a while.  
I hope you'll be alright on your own. I know you've come to depend on me a lot, even though  
you won't show it. I will try to help you as best I can... Even if I'm torn between how to be,  
I know that part of me will *always* exist for nothing but you. But I don't want to go, I don't  
want to leave you! Please don't make me leave you... please...  
  
//Fly, fly do not fear  
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear  
Your heart is pure, your soul is free  
Be on your way, don't wait for me//  
  
I search for you, running through the halls of this blasted mansion. It's raining, and I know  
you're not in the garden. You're not in any of your usual places. Study, bedroom - bedroom, heh.  
You don't spend much time in there, only occasionally with me. I enjoy it, I really do. It's  
only to pacify me, I know, but I enjoy it nonetheless. The bedroom is lovely, plush, and smells  
of flowers, like everything else in this godforsaken place! I really hate flowers, you know that?  
I only tolerate them because they remind me of you. There are a lot of things I only tolerate  
because of you, you know that? I'm sick and tired of being who you want me to me! Yes, you've  
helped me! Yes, you've taught me! But you tried to change me into something I'm not! I'm not I'm  
not I'm not! I am. I am that person. And I know where you are, now that I'm thinking with a  
clear head, just like you taught me to think. You're in the bath.  
  
And I'm right. You don't look the least surprised to see me; it's not as if I don't come in  
here often, just to sit and chat and bring you tea. No, I didn't bring tea with me; no, I'm not  
going to make any just yet, wait a bit please. There's something I'd like to talk to you about  
first. Oh no, nothing too pressing, just one quick little thing. There's something wrong with  
me, you see. I keep feeling like I'm not myself, like there's two of me. Meditation, you say?  
No, I don't think that's for me. Join you in the bath? Well, that might help. Besides, how can  
I say no to that impish grin of yours?  
  
//Above the universe you'll climb  
On beyond the hands of time  
The moon will rise, the sun will set  
But I won't forget//  
  
Oh, no one can ever say no to you, and that's how you've gotten so far. Your charm is  
indescribable. Your name will last forever, I'm sure. You've already made such a huge impact  
on this world that most of the population of Earth and the colonies knows who you are. But  
they don't know you as well as I do. They don't love you like I do. I ask if please, for once,  
you would tell me how you truly feel. I didn't think you loved me, no. You gave the answer  
I expected. A dear friend, a loyal companion, a vigilant guard. You make me sound like a dog.  
Hmm? What's that? Oh, I just want to put these with my clothes before they get wet. And get  
this from my clothes. Yes, it's a gun. No, I'm not going to put it down. Yes, no, yes, no,  
it's all in my head at once! I am who you want me to be I am I am I am... I'm not. And never  
will be. Thank you for everything, but the world needs to be rid of you before you cause any  
more trouble. Why? Because I love you. Because I can't be who you want me to be. You've torn  
me into two pieces, and you'll do the same with the rest of the world. I see you're not going  
to beg for your life. Noble until the very end, I see.  
  
I'll see to it no one forgets your name, Treize Kushrenada.  
  
//Fly, fly little wing  
Fly where only angels sing  
Fly away, the time is right  
Go now, find the light// 


End file.
